“TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT”- MY EXPERIENCE WITH TINDER

Ah Tinder, I think most of us who have used Tinder have got a love/hate relationship with this app, but suprisingly nowadays it’s where many singletons meet their partners and I know many couples who have met via the app and are still strong to this day. My experience so far with Tinder has been a bit “Meh” but this is probably because I don’t seem to take the app seriously and I don’t expect to find “the one”. I do expect to find a load of “WTF IS THAT” pics and dog snapchat filters(yes there are people still using those). However, dont be put off just yet, as you often do find a good egg on there, you just got to find him!

Why did I sign up to Tinder?

I was in a relationship for 7 years. After the break-up it did hit me really hard and I was left with zero confidence. When you are with someone for so long and you have strong feelings for them, your feelings about yourself don’t really come into it anymore, so I didn’t do anything for myself. I was so invested in him that I never had time to treat myself or do the things that I wanted to do. My friend suggested going on Tinder to see what was out there and advised that it could possibly bring a bit of confidence back by possibly receiving compliments- Yes, the “nice tits” compliment did really give me the boost that I needed. I guess I am pretty late to the Tinder party. When I was in a relationship everyone was swiping and exchanging “dick pics”. Tinder is not all about receiving the D, you can actually meet some pretty interesting people on there and strike up a good conversation.

With the good, comes the bad and the just, plain weird. Tinder holds a variety of “male” in its keep, so if you are thinking about jumping on the Tinder express and you are intrugued, here are a few lads you will come across and some experiences I have had with them.

The “6 ft 1…because height matters” Guy

This seems to be a common saying in lads bios. I get it as a 5 ft 1 lass it’s good to know that I am not going to break my neck with a 6 ft 8 guy, buts it’s obvious you have googled “what makes a great bio” but for many girls this is one of the first questions we are going to ask you or will stalk your social media to find out. I think the tallest I have been with is about 6 ft 5 and boy, he was a struggle to climb.

The “let’s cut the small talk…show me tits” Guy

Like I said, you are going to get messages like this but it’s always amusing to have a bit of fun with it. Usually I reply with “only if you show your tits first” they become quite offended and unmatch straight away, which is great, but then one time I actually had a lad send me a selfie of his chest…jeez and I thought mine were big

The “WHICH ONE IS HE?” Guy

Why do some lads think it’s good to play where’s wally with you? When I see loads of group photos I just swipe straight away, I haven’t got time to work out which one is the prat okay?

The “Animal lover” Guy who actually doesn’t own the dog in the picture

Dogs, a great conversation starter but how disappointing that you swiped for the dog and you find out the dog is not included in the swipe. WHY TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS?!

The “just looking to make friends” Guy

So let me get this straight, you are looking to make friends..on Tinder…a dating app. You will also get the lads saying that “not looking for anything serious” which is fair enough but then they turn around and express there “Anal Feels” which in straight forward terms means they want anal sex with you, erm I thought you are not looking for anything serious? like cereals-ly.

The “Mug shot” Guy

It’s like swiping for a potato or for an ex murderer. I actually swiped once by accident on a chap who kind of resembled an egg- like a Happy co egg!- I got a message literally within a minute that read ‘hmm I was thinking of having a takeaway but I might have you instead” -Christ.

The “Guy who loves himself”

I am talking about the lads who have the shirt off in every photo who use a review like bio to really big themselves up “10/10 best shag I have ever had”-Sharon…Sharon is probably his mother.

The “Netflix and chill” Guy

What are your hobbies and interests? Netflix…and so the great Depression II begins! Since when did Netflix become a bloody hobby? Are we just going to sit around all day and “Netflix and chill” because I’d rather sit on a toilet and “Chill” instead?

The “Too good to be true” Guy

Have you ever spoken to someone and thought? Is he actually real? unfortunately there are fakes on Tinder, but I have come up with a GENIUS plan to solve this. All you need to do is ask them to take a selfie holding a kitchen fork. Now I will have people try and worm their way out of this like taking a picture of a fork or cut out the face with the fork.The hilarious responses I have had is comical, you just couldn’t write it! From “I don’t own one” to “I am on holiday I’ll have to send one when I get back”- they never do!

The “Normal” Guy

Tinder is like a bag of liquorice all sorts, there’s the rare 1 or 2 jelly spogs in a packet that all of us ladies are looking for. I have actually met some nice lads on the app and yes, they are rare to find, but they are on there!   

Over a miserable start to the year, Tinder has provided me in the later months a lot of entertainment and a boost in my confidence that I needed, my friend was right, Tinder can help to boost your confidence. Am I really ready to jump back into a relationship? Not quite, but you never know maybe one day someone will change my mind. I look at it this way, I have achieved so much more in a couple of months of being on my own than in 7 years in a relationship, it took me a little bit of time to get over a depression, but I’ve realised that I have neglected myself and it’s time for a bit of self-love. So maybe I am using Tinder for the wrong reason, but I enjoy having these bizarre conversations debating if pigeons pee or not? and being a Tinder socialite now and again, when I remember I have it! Too many people think they have to rush to find someone other than themselves to love, but doing this brought me pain, and I have finally realised that I am the one that I need to love.

Tinder can bring a lot of pain to people, but it can also bring a lot of good, and in my experience, I have taken a lot of positives with this app. It has opened my eyes to love myself again and I am actually okay on my own. Another thing I have learnt: big bums are finally in, so no more 6am runs for me! 

AMY ELIZA

16 Comments

  1. ellieslondon

    I felt this post! 🤣 I met my partner of two years on Tinder so there’s definitely hope, but mannnn I know what you mean about all these types. I once went on a date with a guy who said he was going to “review” our date and provide me with feedback “like an Amazon purchase”. In his feedback he text me I was 3 out of 5 😦 needless to say it was an unmatch!! 🤣

    Like

  2. clairelomax2018

    I think Tinder certainly has its place in the internet dating world but it seems that it is more for the hook up now which is a shame.

    I had the (dis)pleasure of listening to the builders working on my roof discussing it. Apparently for £13 a month he can have ‘all the pussy he wants!’ Nice!

    Like

  3. B.C. Kowalski

    I think I pretty much had this experience as a man on tinder. It’s a numbers game and finding someone normal as you put it (not crazy, responsive but not obsessively so, etc), takes a lot of time and is exhausting. I’ve had better luck online meeting people through FB groups – not searching for them but through the course of interacting with people. The one barrier of course is the distance part is usually luck of the draw.

    Like

  4. hmf1982

    I can’t even tell you how much this make me laugh. I’ve never been brave enough to try out Tinder, (after dipping my toe in the plenty of fish waters I’m never trying to meet someone on the internet again), so thanks for providing an honest and hysterical review on the whole process 😂

    Like

  5. hmf1982

    Absolutely hysterical! So relatable, and I think you’re so brave trying out Tinder. After my experiences with the weirdos on plenty of fish I’m much too scared 😂

    Like

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